Falling Slowly
by awesomesauce101
Summary: After Torchwood is destroyed in Children of Earth, Jack goes looking for the Doctor, hoping to get away from Cardiff and the Earth in general.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **After Torchwood is destroyed in Children of Earth, Jack goes looking for the Doctor, hoping to get away from Cardiff and the Earth in general. 11/Jack, because there's not a lot of that pairing out there, and I think they'd just be adorable together. Jack needs to come back in season 7 to meet the new Doctor!

**A/N: **Finally caught up on Doctor Who, and felt bad for the Doctor, being so sad and lonely after the Ponds left. And I finished Torchwood CoE and am too lazy to watch all of season four (and depressed a bit since everyone in Torchwood is dead, except for Jack and Gwen), and felt bad for Jack, so I wanted to write something to make them both happy again. Yay happy! :)

Maybe it's just me, but I think that Jack has a crush on the Doctor. I mean he always talks about him, and he even clung to the TARDIS through the Time Vortex just to see him again. And even if it's a bit creepy, he kept the Doctor's hand, which in the end, helped out and stuff. He's even willing to do dangerous things (like step into a room full of deadly radiation stuff and get EXTERMINATED! by Daleks) to help out.

Oh and by the way, this takes place after Children of Earth for Jack and after The Angels Take Manhattan for the Doctor. And yes, I know that the Doctor is married to River, and I do like that pairing, but I like this one better, so I'm just going to conveniently forget that River exists, hee hee. xD

Uncreative title is uncreative. I get most story titles from song titles, even if the song has nothing to do with the story ^^; Got this one from Kris Allen, or whoever originally sings it, since I don't know, I've only heard the cover. :P

**Warnings:** There be slashy goodness in this, so if you're offended by that then click the back button in the corner. Of course, I'm a wuss and probably won't write anything too bad, so don't worry.

**Disclaimer: **Characters don't belong to me (unfortunately), they all belong to BBC, Steven Moffat, Russel T Davies, and all the other people who make Doctor Who and Torchwood possible.

Oh my gawd that was a lot of writing (that you probably didn't even read)! Sorry to bore you! On to the story!

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Finding the Doctor is no easier than the last time he tried finding him. Of course, he didn't expect it to be easier, but he had some hope that maybe the Doctor would show up to see what had happened after the 456 ordeal. In fact, he had hoped the Doctor would've shown up _during _it because then Jack wouldn't have had to watch Ianto die, watch Steven die, watch how twisted the leaders of the world were when they turned over 10 percent of the worlds' children, but keep their own safe at home. The Doctor would've saved them, saved everyone, because he always does. Jack knows he would have, because he's seen the Doctor do the impossible, even though he says it's only "highly unlikely".

But Jack knows that there's no use dwelling on what could've been. Instead, he focuses on the now. If he waits long enough, the Doctor will probably show up to refuel the TARDIS, but waiting is something he easily tires of. And now there's not even anything to do to pass the time. The hub was destroyed and Gwen is hiding away with Rhys and their daughter. There's no one to talk to about what he's lost or what he's feeling, no paperwork or alien technology to busy himself with while he waits. Maybe if he tries hard enough, he can send a message to the Doctor's psychic paper, but that takes a lot of power, and that's definitely something he doesn't have. Besides, he has no idea how to go about doing it anyway.

He sighs and paces about the small abandoned house he's taken up residence in like he's been doing for the last twenty minutes. Since he practically lived in the hub, he had to find somewhere to go for a while to get his thoughts together, to rest and to grieve. He couldn't risk going somewhere where he could be recognized by someone who wanted him dead, or at least someone who would follow him wondering why he didn't die when he got shot through the head. That would just get annoying.

The house is somewhat near where Torchwood used to be. If he looks out one of the windows he can see that they've already rebuilt the tower and covered the huge hole in the ground created by the bomb that was inside him. Every day he looks out the window hoping to see that blue box and every day he hopes to hear that strange sound that he'd recognize anywhere. But sadly, his hope is dwindling. _Really, you should stop looking for him like some lost puppy, _he thinks to himself. Sometimes he thinks that maybe that's really what he is. A lost puppy. He'd follow the Doctor anywhere if he could. He really wanted to the last time, after the year that never happened and the Master was defeated temporarily, but at that time, he still had responsibilities to his team, not to mention the fact that the Doctor thought he was wrong, something that shouldn't exist, but does. _That was a stupid reason to abandon me on Satellite 5, _he thinks, still bitter over the Doctor leaving him surrounded by corpses and Dalek dust. Luckily his vortex manipulator still worked, sort of. It still works now of course, since the Doctor fixed it, but he doesn't really want to go anywhere, or when for that matter, on Earth and there's nothing close enough to the planet that he can transport to.

He flops down on the bed, bored out of his mind, and closes his eyes. He doesn't sleep though, he rarely does now. Too many nightmares that leave him waking in a cold sweat and tears prickling at his eyes as he watches Ianto and Steven die again. He wishes that he could control his dreams, because then, maybe he could do something, even if it's only in a dream world. He has knowledge now that he didn't then, maybe he could think of something else to save everyone. But he knows that perhaps it's not a good thing to have control, because it _is_just a dream world, and that would make reality all the more painful.

It is during his short rest that he hears it. At first he thinks he's hearing things, that there's no way that the Doctor could be here. Then he sits up and looks out the window, and sure enough, there's that familiar box materializing out of thin air. He leaves straight away. Since the TARDIS has just landed, it'll need time to refuel, and he can get there without having to worry about the Doctor running away from him, like he did before. As he's walking towards the TARDIS, he's thinking. Does the offer to travel with the Doctor still stand? He doesn't see why not, since he helped the Doctor save the world and all that whatnot. Finally, he's standing at the door, and just as he's about to knock, the door opens and an unfamiliar looking man with a tweed jacket and red bowtie steps out, nearly walking into him.

"Doctor? Is that you?" Jack asks, wondering when he regenerated.

"Ah, hello Jack! Nice to see you again! And yes, it's me," he says and flashes a grin.

"You regenerated," Jack states the obvious, noticing how the Doctor's smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yeah, and still not ginger," the Doctor frowns at that, and Jack can't help but chuckle at his, frankly cute, expression.

"Why are you wearing a bowtie?" he asks, eyeing the article of clothing in question.

"Because bowties are cool," the Doctor says, as though it's obvious.

"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that," Jack teases.

"I will, thank you very much!" he says.

" So, are you travelling alone now?" Jack asks, changing the subject, and the Doctor's face tells him all he needs to know. "I'm sorry," he says, resting a hand on the Doctor's shoulder. He nods and then pulls Jack into the TARDIS, which is surprising to him. He didn't think it'd be this easy.

"New desktop theme," he explains before Jack has a chance to ask. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you something," he glances at the captain before continuing. "Do you…do you want to come with me?" he asks, fiddling with the controls and the monitor.

"You're asking me?" Jack says, thinking it would've been the other way around.

"Yeah, but, if you're too busy, you know, with your team and Torchwood, then you don't have to. I mean, I'd love it if you would, but you know, responsibilities and all that, I understand if you can't come with..." the Doctor trails off, looking hopefully at Jack. And as much as he wants to say, "Yes, of course," he doesn't because suddenly he's angry. Angry at the Doctor for not coming to help when he was holding a dying Ianto in his arms, when he had to sacrifice his grandson , and he's angry because the Doctor is talking like he doesn't even know what's happened while he's been away. And some part of him is telling him that it's not the Doctor's fault, because he can't be there every time the Earth is in trouble and that there are other galaxies and planets out there that need saving and that the Doctor's not even from Earth so why should it be his responsibility, but right now, Jack's not listening to that part of him.

"You know what? I want to ask _you_something. Where were you when the 456 invaded Earth? 'Cause God knows we could've used your help. You better have been off saving the universe or something, because we needed you Doctor! Not just me, not just Torchwood, but everyone! The Earth needed you and you weren't there!" he's shouting now, telling the Doctor all that's happened, all that was lost and there's tears streaming down his face, but he can't bring himself to care.

"I'm sorry, Jack," the Doctor says quietly after a few seconds of silence.

"You're sorry? Don't give me that, because if you were sorry, you could go back and change it!" he says.

"I can't, Jack. You know I can't, it's a fixed point in time," he explains.

"But you can, you're a Time Lord, why does it matter?" he asks, trying to bring his breathing back under control.

"Believe me, I thought the same before. I went back to a fixed point and changed it, and it messed everything up. Someone took their own life because of it, and I can't make the same mistake again!" the Doctor says and he's starting to get angry now too. "Trust me, Jack, if I could go back and fix things I would. If I could save everyone from the 456, I would. If I could go back and rescue my friends from the Weeping Angels, I would, but I can't! You and I have to accept the fact that sometimes you can't save everybody, no matter how much you want to, no matter how much it hurts afterwards!" he says, and they both stand there, glaring at each other and breathing heavily. He doesn't want to admit it, but deep down, Jack knows the Doctor's right. He takes a deep breath and tries not to think about how he probably just screwed everything up. The Doctor was his one chance to leave this place and now that he's gone and yelled at him, there's no way that the offer to travel with him is still available. He turns to leave, because he knows the Doctor's probably going to tell him to anyway, and he really doesn't want to hear it. So, it's really quite a surprise when the Doctor says:

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving, what do you think?"

"You don't want to come with?"

"It's the first time I've seen you since your last self, and the first thing we do is fight. You still want me to go with you?"

"I know, I know we didn't start off on the right foot, so to speak, but I'm tired of being alone, and I think you are too," and he's right. Even though he's still a bit angry, he knows that he's probably not going to turn down the invitation. What good would that do? Nothing's keeping him here, not anymore.

He looks back at the Doctor, and he's not glaring at Jack anymore. Instead, he just gives him a sad smile. He looks down at the glass floor and mumbles, "So are you coming or not?" and despite what's just happened, Jack walks back to the center of the room and sits down on the chair next to the console.

"So, where to now?" Jack says, and the Doctor looks at him and smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** So, after going back and reading the first chapter over, I noticed that I seemed to write that argument rather easily, I didn't even really think about it, it just kinda came out…...like angry vomit (ew) lol. I wonder what that says about me…..Anyways! Hope you've liked it so far, and hopefully this chapter will be a bit happier. And I'm writing this after already writing the chapter, so this should be at the end, but I was too lazy to put it down there. Have fun reading! :D

**Disclaimer:**(do I have to put this every time? Oh well, I will just in case). All the characters in the story are not mine. BUT all the names of the planets (besides Raxacoricofallapatorius) are. :D (You have no idea how hard it is coming up with planet names! Or maybe you do, I dunno! But it's still hard!)

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"Right! Now, where should we go next? Somewhere exciting like the moons of Carpathia 5? Or perhaps a dangerous place like Zanalu? I wonder if they'd be happy to see us on Raxacoricofallapatorius, no, probably not…" the Doctor's rambling again, like he does and Jack doesn't really mind. Sometimes the Doctor just says things that sound like nonsense, and Jack suspects that he really just likes hearing himself talk.

It's been about three months since that day in Cardiff, and it's been three months of adventure and danger and saving planets from terror. Oh, and there's the running too, mustn't forget that. Most of the time it's a thrill, the two of them love going around saving the universe together, but sometimes, Jack just wishes the Doctor would take them somewhere relaxing for once. A planet with nice weather, a beautiful surface, and no indigenous creatures trying to kill them sounds rather nice.

Jack leans against the railing and watches the Doctor push buttons and flip levers on the TARDIS' controls, all the while talking excitedly and very rapidly. He never gets tired of it, and he actually somewhat enjoys just listening to the Doctor's voice, even if he doesn't really understand half of what he says.

"What are you smiling at?" the Doctor asks suddenly. He didn't even realize he was smiling until now.

"Oh nothing, you're just really cute when you babble," Jack says.

"Stop it," the Doctor says playfully, and ducks his head, trying unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he's blushing a little bit. Jack chuckles at that, because that's his reaction every time he says something to him like that. And of course, he doesn't stop, because he loves messing with the Doctor and it's all in good fun.

"So anyway, I was thinking that maybe we could just go somewhere relaxing for a change. I don't know, maybe the 'Planet of Really Nice Hot Springs', or something," he says.

"Don't be silly, there's no planet with that name, and besides, aren't you having fun saving the universe?" the Doctor looks at him, and then glances at the monitor.

"I am, but I want to rest sometime, you know? We should-," he doesn't get to finish his sentence, because he's interrupted by a huge crashing noise and the TARDIS shaking terribly. He grabs the railing and looks at the console.

"What's happening?" he says, hoping that they haven't torn a hole through the Time Vortex or something equally as bad. The TARDIS shakes again and there are sparks flying out of the console.

"Well, um, I might have neglected a couple of repairs over the last few weeks," the Doctor says, rushing about and flipping switches on the controls. "Looks like you're going to get your wish, Jack. We have to land somewhere safe before I can fix anything. You might want to hold on to something," he says and pulls down a lever, almost falling down from the tremors it causes. After a minute, they land with a thud, and everything stops shaking, but now there's smoke rising up from below the console. The Doctor and Jack cough and cover their mouths, heading for the door. The Doctor has the TARDIS turn on the fans to clear out the smoke and then follows Jack out to see where they've landed. It turns out that it's a nice beach, with waves lapping at the shore and a pleasant breeze blowing and stirring up bits of sand here and there.

"Now this is more like it. Where are we?" Jack asks, taking in the view.

"Well," the Doctor sticks a finger in his mouth and then holds it up like he sometimes does. "It seems that we're on the lovely planet of Atraxia. A lot of the residents live more inland, don't think they'll be too much of a bother. Weather seems nice, and it looks as though it'll stay that way while we're here," he says.

"There's no way you can tell all of that by holding up a finger," Jack says skeptically.

"Oh but of course I can Jack! You should now that by now," the Doctor says and grins at him. Jack rolls his eyes. _Show off,_ he thinks.

"So how long do you think it'll take to repair the TARDIS?" Jack asks, looking back at the blue box.

"Not too long hopefully, couple of days at the most. Of course, things would go faster if I had some help," he glances at Jack.

"Well, we better get started then, huh?" Jack says, heading back to the doors.

"I thought you wanted to relax!" the Doctor looks at the beach and thinks that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"I do! But if we fix the TARDIS first, then the relaxing will be so much better after all the hard work," he says.

"All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy," the Doctor says, getting a laugh out of his companion. He follows Jack to the TARDIS. "Don't worry, old girl. We'll have you fixed up in no time," he says, patting the outside of the ship as he enters.

When the Doctor said that he'd neglected a "couple" of repairs, he was totally lying. There was so much to do and it turned out that it may take about a week instead of two or three days. Jack was working on a few things underneath the console and the Doctor was fiddling with his sonic screwdriver and kept getting zapped by the TARDIS every time he tried to use it on something that didn't need fixing. Jack found it highly amusing every time the Doctor got shocked because he'd let out a little high-pitched yelp. He finished repairing a couple of wires he was working on and climbed out from underneath the console.

"Ow! Would you stop doing that?! I'm trying to help!" the Doctor scolded. Jack couldn't suppress the laugh that escaped his mouth and the Doctor gave him a look. "Quit laughing! It's not funny!" he cried.

"No, it is funny. Really funny actually," Jack said, grinning like a loon. The Doctor gave a little huff and resumed his work, deliberately ignoring Jack's comment. He could hear the screwdriver pulsing and then the Doctor gave a cry of triumph.

"Ah-ha! There, I'm finished. That wasn't so bad now was it? I could've done without the zapping though," he told the TARDIS. She seemed to have responded, because he came back with, "No you're not, you thoroughly enjoyed causing me pain," and stood up.

"She giving you trouble again? You totally deserve it, since you haven't even checked up on her in forever," Jack said. The TARDIS hummed as though in agreement. Over time, the ship had taken a liking to Jack. She definitely wasn't bothered by his "wrongness", as the last Doctor put it, anymore.

"Of course you'd agree with him," the Doctor grumbled at her. He walked around the TARDIS, surveying what work was left to do, muttering either to himself or to her quietly.

"So, what's left to do?" Jack asked. They were already a few days into making repairs and it was hard work. Jack helped where he could, and the Doctor gave him instructions on certain tasks, but there were still things left that needed fixing.

"Um, let's see. Most of the wiring is done, and once we've finished with that, there're other parts that need work. See, if I'd actually made a routine of checking up on her, there wouldn't be so much work now. Oh and I forgot about that other thing too….," the Doctor listed off things that needed to be done and Jack just nodded his head because while he might've been a passenger on the TARDIS for a time he still didn't know how it all worked. The Doctor tried to explain it sometimes, but his explanations usually just left Jack more confused than before.

"Isn't there an instruction manual for this? It'd make things a lot easier," he mused aloud.

"Well, there was one. But I kind of….threw it away," the Doctor answered.

"Why would you do that?" Jack asked.

"Because I disagreed with it!" he said.

"You….disagreed with it?" Jack shook his head and sighed. "What are we going to do with him?" he asked the ship.

"Hey now! Don't say that!" the Doctor protested with whatever she had said.

"Alright, you know what? We've been working all day, why don't we take a break for a while okay?" he suggested.

"We should get it done now though," he said.

"Well, we have all the time in the universe; I don't think a break would kill anyone. Come on, it's almost dark out," Jack said, going up the stairs and looking at the monitor. He took off his coat and shoes before heading to the door.

"I'm going, whether you're coming or not," he called to the Doctor. He went outside and closed the door behind him. The sun was getting close to setting and the sky was colored with an orange hue. He walked to the shore and let the water lap around his ankles. The water was pleasantly cool and he waded into the water until it was at his waist, not really caring that his clothes were getting wet. He turned around as he heard the doors to the TARDIS close and the Doctor stepped onto the beach. He walked to the shore, standing just before the water touched his feet.

"Come on, the water won't hurt you," Jack called to him.

"How do you know that?" the Doctor answered.

"Because if it did, I wouldn't be standing waist deep in it, now would I?" he said.

"No, I suppose not," he muttered. He stood there watching the sun and not really paying much attention to Jack. That is, not until water sprayed into his face.

"Hey!" he cried, looking at Jack, who had a mischievous grin on his face. "What was that for?!" he said. Jack didn't answer; he simply splashed more water in the Doctor's direction and laughed.

"Oh, you're gonna get it, Harkness!" the Doctor declared, going into the water after him.

"Ooh, you used my last name, I'm _so_ scared!" Jack teased, laughing as the Doctor splashed at him. As the two of them chased each other around in the water, Jack was thinking about how silly they must look. He hadn't played around with someone like this in a long time, in fact, the last time he ever actually goofed around like this without a care in the world was when he would play with Gray back home. _Here I am, a thousand something year old grown man, playing with a nine hundred something year old alien at a beach on a planet in outer space,_ he thought, laughing to himself. The thought seemed ridiculous and if someone had told him that's what he would be doing at some point in his life, he would've thought they had lost their mind. And yet, here he was now, doing just that. Funny how life works out sometimes.

Eventually, the two tired themselves out and returned to shore, lying down in the sand next to each other.

"Well, that was fun!" the Doctor exclaimed, a huge smile plastered on his face. "But look at my clothes!" he said, gesturing to his outfit which was now drenched with water. Jack laughed at the Doctor's expression.

"Yeah, I got you all wet, didn't I?" Jack winked suggestively.

"Oh gosh, you're horrible!" the Doctor blushed and covered his face with his hands. Jack laughed, because it was so much fun getting the Doctor all flustered like that, and the way he reacted to the innuendo was just so adorable and hilarious at the same time. Jack pried the Doctor's hands from his face and smiled at him.

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed," he teased.

"Stop it," the Doctor mumbled, still a little red.

"Not a chance," Jack said, moving so that his body was hovering over the Doctor's and grinned at him. He let go of the Doctor's hands and reached to cup his face. The Doctor's breath caught and he went still for a moment when Jack leaned over and pressed his lips to the Doctor's. He kissed back hesitantly, and Jack could sense that the Doctor's arms were flailing about, as though he didn't know what to do with them. He smiled into the kiss and moved his hands to the Doctor's arms, guiding them so that they were wrapped around his waist. His hands returned to the Doctor's face, one of them stroking his cheek, and the other running his fingers through his floppy brown hair. When they separate to breathe, Jack leans his forehead against the Doctor's, smiling softly at him.

"Well….that was…nice," the Doctor says breathlessly. Jack hums in agreement. They stay like that for a bit, catching their breath and after a while, Jack laughs softly.

"What?" the Doctor says.

"You're as red as a tomato," Jack replies.

"Well, we know whose fault that is, huh?" the Doctor says and smiles at him. Jack moves off the Doctor and pulls him into a sitting position.

"The sun's setting," Jack remarks.

"So it is," comes the Doctor's reply. Jack wraps an arm around his shoulders and the Doctor moves closer to him, laying his head on his friend's shoulder. They sit there together, watching the sun set, something neither of them has done in a long time, and Jack thinks that this moment is absolutely perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Changing things up. I wanted to write a chapter with the Doctor's POV, so here it is! Hope he's not too OOC, sorry if he is, but then again, it's _my_ story, so I can make him as OOC as I want! (but I'll try not to).

Oh and BTW, if it sounds like I'm bashing on 10 towards the beginning, I'm not. In fact, he's my favorite Doctor (even though 11 is growing on me, like a lot,) so don't get the wrong idea. I just think that sometimes he's not the nicest person to Jack. I much more prefer him with Rose. Anyways, on to the story!

**Disclaimer:** The only thing that belongs to me is the plot :)

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After a couple more days of work, the TARDIS is finally repaired, and even though he normally wouldn't just stay in one place and relax, the Doctor's gotten used to it, and for once, he really doesn't want to leave. It's been a few days since their first kiss and now the Doctor is more comfortable around Jack, not afraid to rest his hand on his shoulder when he says something nice to him, or to brush his fingers against the other's when he hands him a cup of tea. He won't admit it, maybe not even to himself, but he's slowly falling for Captain Jack Harkness, and he doesn't mind one bit. He thinks it's a bit silly, starting to fall for him when they've only just had their first kiss, but he finds that he can't really shake the feeling. It's strange because his last self definitely didn't have the same feelings, in fact, his last self didn't really like Jack that much in the first place. Sure, towards the end he grew somewhat fond of him, but he would've never fallen in love with the immortal. That was the whole reason for it too, Jack's immortality. His old self had described it as wrong, as something that he couldn't even look at. _Wow, the old me was a jerk,_ the Doctor thinks to himself. Funny how with a new body and new sense of self, everything has completely changed. Part of him doesn't want to regenerate again, well most of him, since regenerating doesn't exactly feel good, but the other reason he doesn't want to is because he's afraid that if he does, he won't feel the same as he does now.

"Hey Doc, what'cha doing?" Jack's voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

"Oh nothing, just thinking," he replies. He hears Jack chuckle from somewhere behind him before hands come to rest on his shoulders.

"When aren't you thinking?" he asks, hands starting to massage knots out of the Doctor's shoulders.

"Mmmm, don't know. Never?" he says.

"You know, the universe won't explode if you stopped thinking for a while," Jack comments.

"Yeah, I guess so," he concedes. There's a few moments of silence before the Doctor reluctantly pulls away from Jack's touch and goes to the controls. "So, now that the TARDIS is fixed, we can travel again! The whole of time and space, so much to see and all the time in the universe!" he exclaims gleefully, spinning around to face his friend.

"Hey now, what happened to relaxation?" Jack protests, although he can't hide his smile at the Doctor's excitement.

"Yes, well, we did relax! A few days ago," he says.

"No," Jack says, drawing the word out, "that was just a break. I'm talking about like a vacation. You said it yourself, we have all the time in the universe, why not spend a few days here? The weather's nice and we probably won't be bothered,"

"Vacation?" the Doctor says the word like he's never heard it before. He stops to think about it. Before, he's never really been fond of staying in one place for too long. He remembers that time he had to stay with the Ponds for almost a year when those black cubes appeared, and while he did enjoy himself there, it was still a little bit boring. They talked to him, did chores with him, and played the Wii with him, but there were times when he was alone, times when he left them alone to be a couple and spend time with each other without him being an awkward third wheel. And after all, he wasn't there to just relax and do nothing for a year, he was there to observe the cubes. But now, he has Jack and nice weather and a beach and it's all so very tempting. Jack may be human, but he's seen a lot over the lifetimes he's lived through. There's more to talk about with him and he understands more things than any other human the Doctor's had as a companion.

"You're thinking about it, I can tell. Always with the thinking," Jack says, interrupting his thoughts once again.

"Shush now, and yes I'm thinking about it. I mean, I guess it _would_ be nice. But I've never really just stayed in one place, not to relax at least. There was that time with the cubes and I had to stay with the Ponds for almost a year, and it was fun, but sometimes it was dreadfully boring, and besides I-," Jack cuts him off with a kiss. It's quick, more like a peck on the lips, but it definitely shuts the Doctor up.

"You talk too much," he says, smiling at him when he pulls away. He moves away from the Doctor and goes to stand behind him and starts massaging his shoulders again. "When's the last time someone gave you a proper massage?" he asks.

"Don't know. Actually, I don't think anyone's done that to me at all," he says.

"Hmm, shame. So am I the first?" he says, smiling when the Doctor groans as he works out a particularly tight knot.

"Guess so," he says. He doesn't say much more because what Jack is doing feels nice and talking, for once, is not something he wants to do a lot of.

"You should see the look on your face. You're loving this aren't you?" Jack whispers in his ear after a while and he doesn't know why, but the Doctor blushes at Jack's words, and at his closeness too. And suddenly, Jack's hands are gone, and the Doctor's about to protest when he's spun around and warm lips meet his own. He moves his hands to Jack's hair and runs his fingers through it. It feels nice, soft. Jack pulls the Doctor closer to him, wrapping one arm around his thin body and the other reaching up to cradle the back of his head, and deepens the kiss. He feels his face heat up when Jack's tongue slides across his lips, thinking about how he's never really kissed anyone like this before, except for maybe when Cassandra-in-Rose's-body had kissed him at that hospital on New Earth, and he hadn't even expected that.

_Stop thinking,_ he tells himself, and parts his lips to let Jack's tongue explore the inside of his mouth. _He tastes nice,_ he can't help thinking, even though he just told himself not to. He jumps a little when Jack's tongue brushes against his own, but after a while he calms down enough to kiss back. Jack moans into the kiss and the arm wrapped around his body tries to pull him even closer. The Doctor's head is spinning, but whether it's from the thrill of the kiss or the fact that he needs to breathe sometime soon he doesn't know.

They finally pull apart for air and just look at each other. Jack's eyes are dark with desire and before the Doctor can gather enough oxygen to say anything to him, he's bent his head and kisses a trail down the Doctor's neck. He gasps when Jack finds a sensitive spot and moans when he bites down on it. He tosses his head back to give Jack more room and gasps again when he licks a trail up his neck and goes to kiss the Doctor again. Jack's hands run down the Doctor's chest, before going to undo the bowtie he always wears. When that's gone, Jack pulls away from the kiss to take off the Doctor's tweed jacket and unbutton his shirt hastily, pushing it off his shoulders, before quickly pulling off his own. Jack kisses along the Doctor's collar bone and finds another sensitive spot where his neck meets his shoulder, biting it hard enough to leave a mark, and the Doctor doesn't really care if it does, because this feels too good. He feels Jack's hands slide down to start undoing his pants, and lets out a panicked sound. Jack stops and looks up at him.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, it's just…I-I haven't, I-I'm not..," the Doctor stammers and wishes he wasn't so _terrified._ Jack stands up straight and strokes the Doctor's face.

"Hey, it's okay," he says. _No it's not,_ the Doctor thinks, hating himself just a little.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes, opening his eyes and looking anywhere but at Jack.

"Not your fault, if I'm going too fast, then tell me. I should be the one apologizing, I didn't even ask if you were okay with this," he says.

"I am, I mean, I don't mind but, I've never really…done this before…," and the Doctor hates sounding so vulnerable, especially now.

"Come here," Jack says, pulling the Doctor into a hug. "It's alright, okay? It's alright…," he repeats, rubbing the Doctor's back and kissing his forehead. The Doctor wants to protest, but he knows it's no use. He doesn't know how Jack is so patient with him, considering he just completely ruined the mood, but he appreciates it and it makes him love Jack just a little more. He sighs and rests his head on Jack's chest, letting the rhythm of his single heart comfort him.

"Thank you," he says, still listening to Jack's heartbeat, "for not, being mad at me," he finishes, hearing and feeling Jack's chuckle.

"I couldn't be mad at you. Like I said, it's not your fault," he says. The Doctor doesn't respond and instead, lets Jack hold him a while longer. Eventually though, it starts getting cold and the Doctor shivers a little.

"We should put our clothes back on," he says, smiling at Jack.

"I dunno, you're pretty hot like this," Jack says, smiling innocently at him.

"Oh, stop it," he says, and then mutters something under his breath.

"What was that?" Jack says. _Blast his infernal hearing ability, _the Doctor thinks, smiling in spite of himself.

"You too," he repeats, barely audible, and yet Jack still seems to hear it, and smirks at him. Before Jack has a chance to say anything, the Doctor looks at him, shakes his head, and says:

"Shut up,"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** So, like I said, I'm a wuss and didn't write anything too bad last chapter. I don't mind reading stuff like that, but writing it is a whole other story :P Writing fluff and hurt/comfort is so much easier. Anyways, back to Jack's POV, and I totally feel like I failed at writing in the Doctor's POV, so you don't even need to tell me. :P And I really hope I don't fail at keeping Jack in character either, cause that would suck. Oh and BTW I haven't, like, memorized that really sad scene in CoE so it's probably going to be off a little.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but a strange mind and an ability to write what's in it.

* * *

"_Please, not Ianto. I'll do whatever you want, just not him!" he begs the alien in the tank. It doesn't respond and he looks back at his boyfriend, dying in his arms. _

"_I love you," Ianto says, and those are the three words that break his heart, because he doesn't say them back._

"_Don't speak," he says, tears rolling down his face. He watches Ianto's eyes close and the life leaves his body. _

"_Ianto! Ianto, stay with me! Please….don't leave me," he pleads, tears spilling out of his eyes when he receives no response. He weeps silently and holds him closer to his body. He can feel the poison gas leeching his own life away, but it doesn't matter because he'll wake up again and be perfectly fine and Ianto will still be dead. He leans down and kisses his lover one last time before death takes him away into the darkness._

_He _hates_ being immortal._

He wakes with a gasp, like he's come back to life from dying in his dreams. He had the same nightmare again and every time he wakes up crying for his now long dead lover. He sighs and covers his face with his hands. He can't go back to sleep, not now. He thought that things were getting better, since he'd been travelling with the Doctor, he'd been having fewer nightmares. But obviously, things haven't gotten better and he sits in his bed crying silently, wishing for the hundredth time that it had gone differently, wishing that he had just said those three words back to Ianto instead of waiting until it was too late.

He said he wouldn't sleep again, but he must have, because when he opens his eyes again it's 9 AM according to the clock in his room. At least it was a dreamless sleep. He can smell something cooking in the kitchen and he's a little curious because he didn't know the Doctor could cook, but he can't bring himself to get out of bed. He lays there, staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, until finally the door to his room slides open.

"Jack, are you up? I made breakfast," the Doctor's voice drifts in. He doesn't move, doesn't even look in the direction of the Doctor's voice. He hears footsteps and then he can see the Doctor in his peripheral vision, standing at the side of his bed.

"Are you okay?" he asks, leaning over to look at him, concern lacing his voice. "Jack?"

"No! I'm not okay, can you just leave me alone?!" he snaps, finally looking at the Doctor. He registers the shock and hurt that crosses the Doctor's face, but he doesn't really care at the moment.

"Sorry, I'll just….go," the Doctor says, looking at Jack sadly and then walking back to the door. He watches him leave and part of him wants to call him back, because he's so sad right now, but he doesn't, because he doesn't want the Doctor's pity, or anyone's for that matter.

_I can't stay in here all day,_ he thinks to himself a while later. He was the one who was talking about taking a vacation and now here he is, cooped up in his room sulking. He's still somewhat sad, but not enough to keep him in bed all day. His stomach grumbles and that's another reason to get up, he thinks, because he still needs to eat. _I should apologize to him,_ he thinks. He hadn't meant to snap at the Doctor, because he was only trying to help, but he was angry and sad and really didn't want company at the time.

Later, after getting dressed and cleaning up, Jack goes to the kitchen to find something to eat. He sees a note taped to the fridge, and it has the Doctor's handwriting on it.

_Jack,_

_Went out for a stroll on the beach. There's some leftover food in the fridge if you're hungry. Hope you're feeling better. _

_The Doctor_

_P.S: Don't touch the fish fingers or custard, they're __mine._

He laughs softly to himself. Of course the Doctor would mention his favorite food being off limits, but Jack definitely doesn't have any intention of eating them. He never really found the appeal of fish fingers and custard, but apparently the Doctor loves them, and Jack finds that the kitchen is always mysteriously stocked with them, even if there's not much else to eat. He supposes that's the TARDIS working her telepathic powers to make sure the kitchen has the meal her driver loves so much.

He finishes his late breakfast and goes outside to see where the Doctor's gotten off to. He sees him sitting on the shore, watching the horizon. He walks up to him and ruffles his hair, smiling when the Doctor gives a cry of protest.

"What'd you do that for?" he asks.

"Had to get your attention somehow, didn't I?" he replies, sitting down next to the Doctor.

"A simple 'Hello' would've sufficed," the Doctor says.

"Now where's the fun in that?" he says and laughs.

The Doctor shakes his head, but smiles nonetheless. "You're impossible,"

"Not impossible, just highly unlikely," Jack says, giving the Doctor a smirk.

The two of them sit there in comfortable silence. The Doctor's absent-mindedly drawing patterns in the sand and staring out at the horizon, the wind blowing slightly, making his already messy hair even more of a mess, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. Jack reaches a hand out to brush the hair out of his face and the Doctor looks at him and smiles softly. _Beautiful,_ Jack thinks, and then the Doctor's looking away shyly and he wonders if he accidently said his thought out loud. He leans forward and kisses the Doctor on his cheek, before pulling away and saying, "I'm sorry,"

"What for?" the Doctor says, looking a little confused.

"Before, when I snapped at you,"

"Oh. Well, you were upset. It was understandable, you don't have to apologize,"

"I do. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that,"

"It's alright. I just want to know….if you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Just…nightmares, is all,"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jack's first instinct is to say, "No," and keep it to himself, like he usually does, and he knows that if he did the Doctor wouldn't push him, and just let it drop. He looks at the Doctor, patiently waiting for his reply, and Jack reconsiders. He takes a deep breath and starts talking, telling the Doctor about his dreams. His voice wavers at some points and he has to stop for a moment to breathe so that the emotions don't overwhelm him. The Doctor takes his hand and laces their fingers together, silently encouraging him to continue. So he does. The Doctor doesn't say anything while Jack is talking, only nods and squeezes his hand when it starts shaking. When he finishes, he sighs and runs his free hand through his hair.

"Thank you, for telling me," the Doctor finally says, after a long silence.

"Thanks, for listening, I guess," Jack replies. He's about to say something else, when he's engulfed in a tight hug, the Doctor's arms squeezing the air out of him.

Before he can say anything to him, he hears him whisper, "I'm sorry," in his ear. Jack doesn't know what to say, and just wraps his arms around the Doctor's shoulders, letting the hand caressing his back and the sound of the waves soothe him. Finally, after a while, they separate.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor repeats. "It's my fault, you were right, I wasn't there. I wasn't out saving the universe; I was just drifting around space, because I was still sad about losing Amy and Rory. I could've been there. I should've been there and I am so sorry that I wasn't, Jack,"

"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself. I know that I said it was your fault, when we met again in Cardiff, but I didn't mean it, I was just angry. You need time to mourn your friends too and there's no way you could've known what was happening anyway. And if you still feel the need to apologize to me, then it's important I say this. I forgive you,"

The Doctor sighs and it looks like part of the weight on his shoulders has lifted. Jack knows that he still feels bad for losing his companions, and for all the other things he wishes he could've done to help people, but letting him know that he's forgiven for what happened on Earth seems like it's made him feel a little bit better.

"Thank you, Jack. I-," he stops, looking like he doesn't know what to say next. Instead, he leans forward and kisses Jack softly, trying to communicate his feelings to the immortal. Jack's eyes flutter closed, and he brings his arms up to rest on the Doctor's shoulders. He feels something nudge at his consciousness and even though he hasn't spoken telepathically in a while, he recognizes the alien presence as the Doctor's. He opens his mind, letting the Doctor's thoughts and feelings in. He can feel the sadness and regret that the Time Lord is feeling, but also happiness and love. Jack knows that being able to communicate like this with the Doctor is a special privilege, because of how personal it is and it brings them closer together.

_I'm going to need to breathe sometime soon,_ is the first thing that unconsciously comes to Jack's mind, and he can feel the Doctor's amusement at the thought.

_Aw, that's too bad. I rather like kissing you_, he hears the Doctor think and then they're pulling away. Now their mouths are free to talk, but Jack can still feel the link between their minds, and for the moment, he prefers communicating that way. They sit there, just talking and enjoying each other's company. They talk about nothing and everything, from the Doctor's past companions, to Jack's time at Torchwood, and a lot more. Jack doesn't realize how long they've been sitting there conversing until the sun is hovering above the water, casting an orange reflection across it.

_It's going to get cold out soon. We should head back to the TARDIS. Hypothermia is definitely _not _on my top list of good ways to die._

_I wouldn't imagine that it is, _the Doctor replies. They both get up and he grabs Jack's hand before walking back to the TARDIS. He knows the Doctor can feel his joy at the action.

_Your hand is so warm. _

_Hey, _you're_ the one with the lower body temperature._

_Oh, humans, thinking you're so normal. Most life forms have lower body temperatures. You are all just strangely hotter._

_Don't you know it?_

_Just stop, would you?_

_Don't think I will._

_What else is new?_

The two bantered playfully for a time, smiling at each other and occasionally getting a few laughs out. Eventually, Jack grew tired, and yawned, letting go of the Doctor's hand to stretch his arms above his head.

_Bed time?_ The Doctor's voice rings in his mind.

_Don't really want to sleep. If I do, I'll end up having another nightmare, _he thinks solemnly.

_Stay with me? _The Doctor's thought surprises him.

_Are you sure?_

_Of course. You can sleep with me-_

_Oh?_

_Not in _that_ way! Must you_ always_ think like that?_

_Teasing!_

_Anyway! You can stay with me, and if something happens, I'll be right there, okay? _

Jack doesn't want to impose on the Doctor, but he hates the idea of another sleepless night alone in his room. He holds his hand out for the Doctor to take.

_Lead the way, _he thinks, smiling. The Doctor takes his hand and leads him down one of the corridors. He doesn't reply to the comment, but Jack can sense his amusement and can tell that he's rolling his eyes, even though he can't see his face.

The Doctor's room is huge and breathtaking. The ceiling is high and has designs painted onto it, somewhat resembling the Sistine Chapel, although Jack can guess that the circular patterns are probably Gallifreyan. Some of furniture, a desk, a wardrobe, and a large bookshelf, is made of mahogany wood, surfaces shining slightly. There's a couch and a chair that look comfortable, but the thing that really appeals to Jack is the large bed. The carpet has a nice design on it and is soft as he walks across it. There are windows that give a holographic view of the stars, since they're not always there on the outside of the ship.

"Wow," Jack breathes, unintentionally reverting back to communicating physically instead of telepathically.

"Yep," the Doctor says in agreement, flopping down on the bed, a big grin on his face.

"Wow," he repeats again and the Doctor laughs.

"Can it be? Has my amazing room left the great Captain Jack Harkness speechless?" he says.

"Hmm, very funny," Jack says sarcastically, walking over to look at the huge amount of books lining the bookshelf, reading the different titles, some in languages he doesn't recognize. "When do you find the time to read all these?"

"I have a time machine, Jack. What do you think? I could be in here for days reading and doing other things and to the outside world, it's only been five minutes," he says.

"True," Jack says. He gazes at the ceiling and asks, "Is that Gallifreyan?"

"Yes,"

"Thought so," Jack says, continuing to look at the circular text above him. The Doctor hears him murmur, "Wonder what it says," but he suspects that Jack's just talking to himself. Jack knows that the TARDIS doesn't translate the language of the Time Lords and he figures that the Doctor probably won't translate it either, but he can't help being a little curious.

When Jack wanders closer to the bed, the Doctor reaches out and pulls him down onto it. "Thought you were tired," he says.

"Eager to get me in your bed, Doctor?" Jack says, smiling suggestively at him. The Doctor just sighs and shakes his head, deciding that telling Jack to stop would be a futile effort. Instead, he does something very un-Doctor like that he thinks Jack isn't suspecting. He flirts back.

"You bet I am," he says, pulling the other man on top of him and, before he can lose his nerve, gives him a soft kiss. He laughs at the surprised expression on Jack's face.

"What? Didn't think I had it in me?" he asks.

"Honestly? No," Jack says, smiling. His initial reaction to the unexpected action fades quickly, and he leans down to kiss the Doctor again. They lay there for a while, just kissing. It's not needy or sexual, just soft and affectionate. _I could get used to this,_ he thinks. After a bit, they both separate to breathe. Jack gets up so that he's not lying on top of the Doctor anymore and undresses until he's in a plain t shirt and boxers. He climbs back into the bed, slipping under the blankets and laying his head down on the pillow.

"I'm sleepy," he sighs, eyes heavy. He lets them close after he sees the Doctor get up and go to his closet, probably to change into his sleepwear. He feels the mattress compress when he comes back and then arms are wrapping around him, pulling him closer to the Doctor. He sighs again and snuggles into his side, resting his head on the other's chest. His twin hearts beat out a comforting rhythm that lulls him to a state of half-sleep.

"Don't tell anyone I like cuddling, or I'll hurt you," he mumbles.

"Empty threat, Jack," he hears the Doctor's sing-song voice. He gives a tiny smile and doesn't reply, too tired and comfortable to say anything.

He's almost asleep, and he assumed the Doctor was asleep too, until he feels a kiss pressed into his hair and an almost inaudible sentence from the Time Lord.

"I love you," the Doctor whispers, and Jack's eyes fly open, his whole body tense.

"What?" he chokes out, looking up at the Doctor's confused face.

"I-I said, 'I love you,'. Why? Is something wrong?" he asks. Jack sits up and sighs, running a hand through his hair restlessly, not replying. The Doctor sits up too, leaning back against the headboard.

"Jack? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Do you…not feel the same? Talk to me. Say something. Please…," he says. Jack looks and can see the pleading in his eyes, along with the fear that Jack doesn't feel the same, or worse, that he'll get angry and leave. But he would never do that, and he rushes to reassure him.

"No, you didn't say something wrong. It's just…," _Okay, deep breath._ "the last person who said that to me was Ianto," he finishes in a rush.

"Oh," is all the Doctor says. He looks down and wrings his hands nervously.

"But listen," Jack waits for the Doctor to meet his eyes, "I'm not upset. Okay? I'm not. I just wasn't….expecting it. That's all,"

"Yeah," the Doctor replies, voice catching on the single word. "You still haven't said, if you feel the same. It was hard for me to say, but you just looked so peaceful and I just loved being able to lay there and hold you. And I wanted to say it, and I thought, 'Hey, maybe now would be a good time,' but now I've gone and messed things up and I-I'm sorry be-,"

Jack cuts him off with a tight hug. "Don't apologize for saying it. Don't, okay?" he says, squeezing the Doctor's shoulders. He lets go and takes the smaller hands in his. He looks straight into the other's eyes and can see all the uncertainty and doubt in them. In his head, he makes a decision. _It's time to let go of Ianto,_ he thinks. Not forget, though, _never_ forget, but he knows that Ianto wouldn't have wanted him to be sad and never love anyone else because of his death.

"I love you too, Doctor," he says, leaning forward and kissing the Doctor on his forehead. "I love you, so, so much,"

The Doctor lets go of the breath he was holding and smiles at Jack, eyes slightly watery. He blinks and a tear slips out of his eye, running down his cheek. Jack lets go of one of the Doctor's hands and reaches a finger up to brush it away.

"Well, I think, um, we should, uh, get some sleep?" he says hesitantly. Jack smiles and pulls him down onto the bed with him.

"Certainly," he replies, laying his head on the Doctor's chest and letting the other's arms wrap around him again.

"I love you, Jack. Good night," he says, rubbing Jack's shoulders slightly.

"Love you, Doc," Jack replies, finally closing his eyes and letting the heartbeats of the Time Lord lull him to sleep.

He has no nightmares that night.

* * *

**A/N 2:** Finally! This is only four chapters, but I took a long time to write them because school kept getting in the way and I was trying to find time to write this. I feel like that last chapter was kinda bad though, but oh well, it took me too long to go back and fix it. This thing was about 22 pages on Microsoft Word (I typed the whole thing on one document), so thank you for reading all of them :) Actually, this is the longest chapter, although it didn't seem like it at first. Ah well.

Hope you enjoyed reading my story, as good or as bad as it was!


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